Children addicted to mobile games rebellious and averse to school, a trick to let the child off the hook

It has to be said that we parents are frantic about certain behaviours of our children – addiction to mobile phones, all-night gaming, rebellion against parents, refusal to communicate, smoking, early love, stealing money and other undesirable or addictive behaviours.Why do we freak out? Because we can’t get to the bottom of the problem, just like our hands can’t scratch the ‘itchy spot’ on our backs, the doctor’s needle can’t hit the blood vessels hidden under the skin, and we get mad – we can’t do anything about him/her/it.

In fact, no behaviour exhibited by a child is unexplained or unexplained, and when we let go of anxiety and anxiety, and really sink our teeth into it, the whole story of our child will emerge, such as.

addiction to games.

What children are looking for is not cool, flashing graphics and the thrill of tapping their fingers on the keyboard; it is a sense of virtual fulfilment and self-actualisation that is not rooted in games, but in the tedium, irritation and frustration of real life – nagging, blaming and lecturing by parents.

Rebellion against parents.

What the child is looking for is not at all a red-faced, furious parent; it is the act of ‘rebellion’ in exchange for a more equal voice, not a desire to piss off his parents to death, but a desire to defend the ‘independence’ and ‘self’ he has longed for. He is just defending his longed-for “independence” and “self”.

Smoking and early love.

What the child is looking for is not the unpleasant sensation of inhaling a choking cigarette down the throat, nor is it the early desire to enter into a relationship or marriage, but rather the search for a way to relieve his worries, to talk about his woes and to get attention, which is the hidden “driving force” behind the child’s behaviour.

The root cause of parental ‘freak-out’ is that we only see these outward signs of behaviour, but are blind to the deeper sub-causes and internal drives behind them.

The logic behind “freaking out” is actually “treat the head when it hurts” combined with “endless, vicious cycle”, which is probably too much for anyone to bear –When a parent’s role becomes to “pick a fight” with their child, what was once a happy family life is bound to be fraught with problems!

What to do? By ignoring the signs of your child’s behaviour and getting to grips with the driving force behind your child’s behaviour (the inner drive), parents can really make a difference!

How can parents take the pulse of their child’s inner drive?

Think about the following two questions.

1. call it an “experience-1” where a parent has motivated a child in the past.

For example.

a. Giving a thumbs up and saying to the child, “You cleaned the floor!”

b. praising the child for being polite and saying hello to the grandmother next door every time you see her!

c.Say to your child, “If you can finish your homework half an hour early today, you can play with your phone for an extra 15 minutes.”

Think: If we were in the child’s position (perspective), what images and feelings would come to our mind when we hear these words above?

2. Call past scenarios where parents were able to motivate their children to do something (take action) “Experience-2”

For example.

a. Praising the child for “sweeping the floor really well” leads to a greater willingness to help mum with the chores or to sweep the floor and make it cleaner.

b. Praising your child for being “polite to the elderly” will encourage your child to be more proactive in greeting the old lady next door whenever he or she sees her!

c. Asking the child to “play more games only if you finish your homework early” leads to the child procrastinating more on homework or becoming more addicted to “playing on the phone”, or even unable to stop.

Think: Why do parents motivate their children in the same way, but some ‘motivation’ drives their behaviour, while others do not have the desired effect? What is the difference?

In his book, Anthony Robin, the world’s master of potential development, gives the answer. In his book, Anthony Robin gives the answer.

“Similar stored memories create similar mindsets and feelings, and similar feelings and mindsets inspire similar behaviours.”

In other words, all the motivational behaviours we do with our children are actually sending a picture or image to the child’s ‘brain memory system’ which will bring about the corresponding feelings, and if the feelings we bring to the child are positive and happy, then the child will be more willing to develop more behaviours that match them.

So, when a parent praises a child for “cleaning the floor” or “being polite to the elderly”, the child unconsciously associates the pleasure of being praised and affirmed by the parent with these behaviours, and is more likely to develop the self-perception (mental image) that “I am a clean and polite person”.

Eventually, in order to regain similar feelings of pleasure and a sense of ‘identity’ that matches the self-perception, more and more positive behaviours will develop – becoming more industrious, clean or well-mannered.

Conversely, if the feelings and mindset we bring to the child are negative and painful, then the child will do everything possible to avoid all factors associated with the painful behaviour.

In contrast, parents who turn ‘playing games’ into a reward for finishing homework inadvertently awaken all the images associated with the ‘reward’ in the child’s memory system and firmly associate it with “It is not surprising that children become more and more entrenched in the mire of game addiction.

It is not even an exaggeration to say that parents are the first to ‘unknowingly’ contribute to their children’s addiction to mobile gaming.

As Anthony Robin said in another speech. In another speech, Anthony Robin said.

“Ultimately, frustration, loss and happiness are not objective things, but are behaviours created through specific mental images, sounds and physical behaviours that can be controlled, consciously or unconsciously.”

How exactly can we take control of our children’s internal drives to help ‘mobile gaming addicted’ children return to a normal school life?

The most effective strategic thinking is: “the stone from another mountain can be used to break the jade” or “borrowing power to make a thousand pounds with no effort”; how do we properly understand this thinking strategy?

First of all, we need to have the courage to “turn an enemy into a friend” in order to have the opportunity to leverage the strength of the “opponent” to create a win-win situation (rather than a lose-lose, fish-dead situation).

For parents of ‘mobile phone addicted’ children, there is no greater ‘enemy’ than the ‘mobile phone’, and many parents have lost the ‘mobile phone war’ with their sons. Many parents, having lost the “mobile phone war” with their sons, are turning the tables on game developers, blaming and berating them, but it has to be said that this is not a cure.

Why do you say so? The reason is simple, because many children are in a complex mood whenever they play mobile games – either because they are annoyed by their parents’ inappropriate discipline (e.g. nagging, lecturing, scolding, reprimanding, etc.), or because they are running away from their studies in frustration, pinning the attention they cannot get in real life and the realisation of their sense of self-worth on the virtual world.

In this sense, the child has already incorporated the “mobile game” and countless other “inner solace”, “free space”, “spiritual support”, “spirituality”, and “spirituality” into the brain’s memory storage system. In this way, the child’s memory system already associates “mobile games” with countless times of “inner solace”, “free space”, “spiritual support”, “self-worth” and other major components of the child’s spiritual world.

In other words, if a parent were to smash a mobile phone to pieces, at least in the child’s eyes, it would be like driving a mental “bulldozer” and preparing to raze the child’s spiritual world, which he or she regards as his or her life, and the first person to take up the “weapon” and resist would probably be the child themselves.

Therefore, parents should not point their fingers at mobile phones or gaming platforms, but at how to help their children recreate a more exciting, warm and loving spiritual world.